Brain secretary please

Do you ever have those moments when you have really deep thoughts(you know the ones that help you to better yourself), but they are so mixed in with other thoughts they don't come out clearly. I feel at times I have so much going on in my brain that I can't focus on what is truly important. Does that happen to everyone?

Since we have been back from vacation I haven't been able to really get anything done. I can't focus. It seems I am just doing what needs to be done to get by, but that I am making no real progress. Like I am in neutral, unable to put myself in gear. It is frustrating.

It has been raining a lot here and so I didn't get to go walking yesterday morning with my Dad. So, last night in the intermission of the rain I went running. I think that my mind was more clear then than it has been in several weeks. I am trying to make myself into a runner, but I just don't like the process. I can't stand to sweat, or the soreness that comes from a run, or struggling to breathe. It feels like a waste of time most of the time because I have so many others things I should be doing(0r I am missing out on precious sleep). However, I do love that after I run I have this sense of accomplishment. I love that I feel more energized and motivated to do my chores. I feel like I have just done something positive 'just for me'. I feel almost thinner/prettier. I just wish that I could get that from something else. Until I figure what that something else is, I will continue to walk and run.

This may seem random and unorganized, but it is all coming from an overloaded brain unable to file information. It is like that drawer that everyone has with papers, pens, bills, etc. You know that what you are looking for is in there, you just can't find it when you need it. I guess what I am trying to say is that I think I will be able to get in gear if I run more frequently(you know, to clear my mind). I have gotten out of the habit of going every day and I need to do it again. I just wish I liked the process a little better. It would sure make it easier to get out of bed.