A quick update

I cannot believe that it has been 4 days since I have posted. I feel like I have gotten a lot done in preparation for David's arrival, so I guess that has taken the place of blogging.

Some of the things that have been accomplished in the past several days:

* I have our guest room ready for people to come stay. So come on over and spend a few days, we have a place for you to sleep.
* I have the bags packed for a speedy getaway to the hospital. Yes, bags. One for the girls to go stay at a family's house from the Branch if needed, and one for me and Jason at the hospital.
* We are repairing our old computer for the girls to use and will be picking that up in the next few days.
* We have rearranged the food in our kitchen cabinets to designate a place for food storage. We now know exactly what and how much we have and can continue to collect more efficiently.
* Jason is in the process of shipping his motorcycle after the sale. It will leave in the next couple of days.

What we have left to do:

* Bring in the cradle and set it up for David. This one is a big one. You would think that we already should have had it done, but you know how that goes. It is now to the point that I cannot carry it in myself, so Jason will have to do this one. AND, the bedding for it is pink and white stripes. Please share you ideas on how we can still use it, but disguise the pink.
* Bring in the computer desk for the girls computer that is going to be picked up soon.
* Choose an outfit for David to come home in. I always struggle with this one. I am not very good at guessing how small it should be.
* Put together a gift from David to his sisters. I think this will be fun to see when it happens.

News about the pregnancy right now:

As of last Thursday I was dilated 1+ and effaced 10-15%, hardly any contractions and very little swelling, if any. Well, in the past 3-4 days I have been swelling in my ankles every night and even some in my fingers. I have had extreme back pain after any kind of house work(but mostly dishes). I have been up most of the night with contractions leaving me with a sore back in the morning. We go to the doctor today and will find out how much progress we have made in the past 7-8 days. I am anxious to end the pregnancy, but nervous to take care of him. I fear how hard it is going to be with 3 kids, yet excited to see the girls with him. I wonder if he will favor the Gropps or if he will look more like the Holloways. We will know pretty soon. Isn't it funny how long a week can feel when you are anxiously awaiting something? Holy Cow, is it really just a week away?

Other news:

I have new glasses. I needed a new prescription since it has been about 10 years. I wanted to be able to see things in the hospital without having to put in my contacts. When I get a chance, I will take pictures and share them with you. I am not very good at self photos.

My parental tip of the day:

Styrofoam cups are not good for little kids. Somehow they manage to push the straw through the cup and end up sitting in the liquid. Not pleasant.

Blessing for February 18, 2009: A loving father who is becoming, if not already, one of my best friends. I love you, Dad!

Photo shoot by Cailyn

The other day while Jessica was napping, Cailyn wanted to take some pictures. I thought she wanted to model, but really she wanted to be the photographer. I didn't have problems with that as long as I was close. I think she did a pretty fabulous job. Tell me what you think.

Obviously the toilet paper in the bathroom.

Do I have to label this one?

The trash can in my room.

The drawers of my jewelry box(which used to be my mom's)

The things she was playing with on the bed before her shoot.

Happy Valentine's Day

I hope that everyone has enjoyed their Valentine's Day. Our has been great. This morning Jason let me sleep in and then let me go to the grocery store alone. Yes, alone. That hardly ever happens and it was glorious. Then we had a leisurely day around the house. I decided that because Jason doesn't care for cake I would make a fruit pizza for our Valentine dessert. It was way too rich, but visually appealing. Before that of course we had pizza for dinner while we watched The Princess Bride. There was nothing overly spectacular about today other than spending time together(which really is the most spectacular thing in the world).

Jessie's hair is not quite long enough for this do, but can you see the heart in her hair.

This one was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but we will try it again for church tomorrow.

And our Heart shaped fruit pizza.

Happy Valentine's Day from the Holloways

Blessing for February 14, 2009:

Presidents' Day(because Jason has that day off)

A little reading

One of my favorite things that goes on in my house is the girls like to read books on my bed as I fold clothes. I had several loads piled on my bed(which I can't stand), and the girls read our library books while I folded. I had to take pictures because I just LOVE this. Why do baby feet have to be Soooo cute.

Side note: We have these hand prints on our bathroom mirror. I love it. They are so cute. I don't know why I think it is cute instead of frustrating that I can't keep my mirrors clean, but I do. I will definitely miss proof of little ones in my home.

I am not enough of a photographer to capture it correctly. If someone can give me advice on how to take this picture please share it with me. I couldn't find the right lighting or focus.

Toys and static!

We had a really fun day. This morning we made it to Story Time at the Library, where the girls made some valentines. [side note: The story time leader asked me if I was due sometime in April. This made me feel pretty good. I guess I don't look as big as I feel. And I guess I hide how tired and uncomfortable I am pretty well too--SOMETIMES!] It is always fun to see Cailyn get excited to show her Dad the things she made. He does a really good job of making it into something special.

Blessing for February 11, 2009: A wonderful husband, who just happens to be a fabulous father as well!

After naps(I got one today! Hallelujah!) we decided to get away. Well, in this town that means to Walmart. We didn't go to buy anything(that would require $$$$). We just went to play. Yes, I am that pathetic mom who takes their kids to Walmart to play with their toys. The girls love it. They always like to go to the seasonal aisles and then we head on over to the toy section. We went at a time when most everyone else is getting ready to pick up kids from school so it wasn't busy. Therefore, I let them spread out all over the aisle. It is so fun to watch them. I decided to take some pictures, I hope you enjoy them.

These precious girls are amazingly good at putting everything back and not throwing a fit about it. I love them to pieces.

Jessica had lots of Oohs and Ahhs for this one.

Cailyn seemed to go straight for the dinosaurs(a girl after Jason's heart I think).

This is her, "Mom just take the picture so I can get back to playing" face.

Jessica was just overwhelmed by all the toys out.

Cailyn does like to have order.

I tried to get Jessica to do this too, but she would have nothing to do with it. Later, Cailyn told me that it kept going up her nose. Gross, how many different kids have done this?

Later this evening when I needed to make dinner(Jessica has a hard time being patient when she sees it is being made) I sent Jason outside to the trampoline with the girls and the camera. Well done Jason! The girls enjoyed themselves almost the entire time, and dinner was made faster and with less frustration. Thanks Babe!

I tell you what, sometimes I just want to squeeze these kids for hours. Don't lie, I know you do too because they are so darn cute.

Here is my sweet man playing on the tramp. He is so fun to have around!

I am not sure where Cailyn learned this, but it cracks me up how she gets her footed pajamas on. It reminds me of getting into a sleeping bag. Soooooo cute!

Thinking can lead to tears

For the past week or so I have had a great deal of trouble sleeping. I can't seem to get comfortable(or when I finally do I have to get up to go to the bathroom and then start all over trying to get comfortable again). So that leaves me thinking. Sometimes it is a good thing and I gain true inspiration to struggles I am having. But, lately it has left me more troubled in my heart than anything else. I am not sure if every pregnant woman goes through this, but I start visualizing horrible circumstances pertaining to delivery. I wonder what it would be like if David didn't survive. How could I possibly recover from that? And then I wonder how hard it would be on Jason if I didn't survive and what he would do(we have discussed this a little).

Most often though I think of how awful it will be not to share this with my mother(especially if there are complications). This thought has entered my head everyday for about 2 weeks. I don't have the strength in my heart to fight the tears anymore(I know this is part pregnancy, part fatigue, and part mourning). Then come questioning looks from my children. Cailyn always asks why I am crying while ready to hug and/or cry with with me if needed. Jessica always asks me to pick her up so she can wipe the tears off my face. They are so sweet, and I know I wouldn't make it through some of these episodes without their caring spirits close by.

It is moments like these that make it seem impossible that it is real. That she could really be gone. I just want to pick up the phone and call her, to talk pregnancy and delivery with her(even though her experiences with these are complete opposite from my own). I want to talk to her about caring for a little boy and the different experiences I will have with that. She would have loved to pick out clothes and help me get the room ready for him. I know that there are so many women I can talk to about these things, but I am sure that all of you will agree that it is somehow different when it is your mother you are talking to.

There are times when I hear of others spending time with their mothers and talking to them that I feel overwhelmed with either jealousy or anger that I don't have that opportunity anymore. I know it is wrong, and I try to fight it. However, I don't always have the strength to do so. I am weak and I don't feel like I am getting stronger, I am losing strength. Please forgive me if I have ever directed this toward you.

I think that the Lord overestimates my strength.

I know that the adversary is tearing me down and I need to fight it. What I need to do is turn to the Lord and trust in His strength. I know that he has felt this pain and despair and I can lean on Him to overcome it. I know that I have a support system in my home and in the Gospel. Why do I feel that because I am a woman I am supposed to have the ability to do this without complaint or struggle? However, when I stop to listen and plea for help I am reassured that I don't have to do it alone. I can call on Him and find comfort and strength. Right now I need Him to remind me to ask for help, instead of being swallowed up by these terrible thoughts.

I am sorry for this negative post. I just feel the need to get it out. I am sure that a couple of months/years down the road I will come back to read this and think, "Cry me a river, Mindi. Get over it."

Blessing for February 10, 2009:

Temples and the opportunity to be an Eternal Family.

Leelou's Baby Shower

I hope that all of you have checked out the Baby Shower over on Leelou's blog. It has some pretty amazing giveaways. And just think, it is set up to help some sweet babies living in the NICU. Go check it out and you just might win something cool. All you have to do is click on the button to the left of this post.

Go and win your hearts out!