A scary look inside myself

****I appreciate comments(I usually long for them), but please do not comment on this post. This is not a pitty party for myself(and there are no exaggerations), just a goal for improving my inner self. -Thank you!******


I recently had a difficult conversation with someone I love and admire. Some of my faults and weaknesses were pointed out to me. I have, for the past several days, examined and prayed about these weaknesses and shortcomings. I have come to the realization that who I think I am is not viewed the same by others.

As I have pleaded with my Father in Heaven for guidance in this inner stuggle(which is evidently outward also) I have been impressed as to how to begin my change. So, here is my start to a new and hopefully much better Mindi.

There are many people in my life that I see and talk to on a regular basis and some I hardly talk to at all, but I still care for greatly. I can name at least one thing about each of them that I would like to add to my character. My goal is to take a strength from everyone I see and try to make it stronger in my life. I am going to pay attention to something positive in each person and here are some that are very, very evident to me.

Sheryl can see the beauty in every person whether she has known them long or not.

Leanne notices when someone needs something and immediately gets them the help they need.

Heather has the best listening ear on this planet, and never seems to judge.

Rachel is constantly reaching out to others even though she is very busy with her own life(and somehow always finds the best deals out there).

Cassie is very sincere and caring with each person she comes in contact with. She always makes them feel they are the most important person right then.

Lynnae is a great friend. When she makes a friend, they stay a friend forever and she will stay in contact with them always.

Kyle(and his beautiful wife, Julie) knows how to set goals and meet them. They are great at supporting each other and getting it done.

Jim and his dear wife Candace pay attention to others and comforts when and how needed. They are obvservant of everyone around them.

Cory(and I am sure his cute little wife, Andrea-but I don't know her as well) has a love of life. He has a great sense of humor and is almost always laughing about something.

There are many many more, but today we will end with my sweet husband Jason.

Jason, as most of you know, is very quiet. But, he is constantly and quietly observing everyone and analizing the situation. He carefully picks the words that come out of his mouth(this sometimes takes time-but it is worth the wait) in response to what is going on. Most of the time(especially in large groups) he chooses to say nothing at all. He has a great poker face(I am trying to pick this up, but it is not working well-obviously). This makes him very hard to read(I think that is a good thing, it makes people really listen to his words instead of his body language) He turns to his knowledge of the Gospel to answer almost any question in life, and when it is not obvious in writing what to do, he pays very close attention to the Spirit.

All of these attributes are things that I need to add to my character. I realize that I am not the best example of the Gospel and I apologize to anyone that I might have offended. I am sorry if I am too selfish to give care and comfort when it was needed. I pray that I can work on these things and make them a part of my life so I can teach my daughters to be a better woman than I am.

I thank all of you for showing me how to LIVE the Gospel.