I was talking with my Branch President tonight and I told him that I felt like I was just going through the motions of life. He had been writing, but he stopped and looked up at me. He asked me what I like to do for fun. I couldn't come up with an answer for him. He then asked me how often Jason and I go on dates. My answer: "Not very often. Our goal this year is 8 dates and we have almost met that already." He then offered to babysit the girls for us so we could go out more often. How nice, but they live probably about 40 minutes from anything. So, we would have to drive past 'the sticks' to give them the girls and then back to town for the date and then back 'past the sticks' to pick them back up. Convenient? It was very nice of him to offer, though.
Bigger problem: I don't know what I like to do for fun! You know, what makes me Mindi. Not a mommy, or a wife, but Mindi. It's not like I haven't tried many different things. I tried quilting like so many other people do and love. I have tried scrap booking. I have tried gardening. I have even tried to make myself like working out. I just can't seem to find my nitch. I do like to read, but I feel like I am wasting time doing that(does that mean I don't like it enough?) Cooking and baking--only sporadically. I love music, but I don't have the time to do that(really my girls just don't let me play and sing without interruption--the way it should be).
Does anyone have suggestions on how to find Mindi?
Happy New Year!
2 months ago
3 comments:
Mindi-
I understand your predicament. The question of "Who is Jenny?" seems to resurface, and need to be redefined every few years. Honestly, now is one of those times for me, but I, unlike you, don't have two beautiful girls to work around, so my case is a little easier. =)
I wish I was there to help give you "you" and "you and jason" time. But since I'm can't, I'll have to just give you the best suggestions I have got.
Suggestion 1: take the time--even if its only for one hour a week, make a deal with Jason (or a good friend who also has kids) to keep the girls in or take them out so that you can (uninterrupted) sing, play the piano, bake a new dish, scrapbook, take a bubble bath (and just relax and think--this might possibly be my best suggestion for you; taking out time to JUST THINK is so important to figuring out who you really are), work on a quilt, or try a new hobby. I know it doesn't seem like the time is there, or that it is possible to take it, but you're an amazing woman, and I know you can figure it out somehow.
Suggestion 2: Write a list of the things that you would like to spend more time doing. (I have been struggling with how to best spend the rest of my summer vacation, and just wrote a list, and already feel so much better about it!)
Suggestion 3: Look at your patriarchal blessing and see if there is insight there as to who you are and what talents you are to develop. This has certainly helped me in my past "crisis'".
I hope these suggestions help (and if they don't, just discard them--I won't be offended. =)) I know you can get through this difficult time. Know that support and love is being sent your way from many many people (and most importantly, our Heavenly Father). Love, Jenny
Hmmm....I think she might be here at my house. But you better come to identify her yourself. :)
jk!
I think you are on the right track. Keep trying, keep looking. You will find the thing that fits in the right time...
I know, not the answer you were looking for, huh?
Jenny has great suggetions! I have noticed that the things I enjoy doing change and that different experiences mold me into a new person, so (as Jenny mentioned) redefining who I am is required every so often. I have also found that goals are so important! Make a list of short and long term goals that you want to accomplish and work on it. You can list several, or a few, elaborate, or simple, but it's fun to recognize things you want to accomplish and do them. Thanks for the thought provoking question!
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