Small and simple

I pulled out my recipe book to look for a recipe that my mother used to make often when I was growing up. I found the recipe and instantly started crying. You see, she is the one who wrote it down for me. She had such beautiful handwriting.

I got to thinking. Christmas was a big moment without mom, but I managed just fine. But it was this little, simple thing that broke me. I find it interesting that the scriptures tell us by small and simple things are great things brought to pass, and it was a simple moment that made me feel so weak. I manage on a regular basis to handle the day to day tasks without losing it, I just wonder when big, life changing moments happen if I will be able to stand so strong. I can't help feeling jealous that my sweet baby David has talked and walked with Mom more recently than I have. I wonder what their conversations were about(I probably don't want to know).

I miss her to the point of pain today. The kind of pain only my mother can rid me of.